Thursday, 30 September 2010

These are for you Joan................

...............the Joan in question is an amazing woman, she is not famous
or a celebrity, she is my mum-in-law

I never told her that she was amazing and I wish I had done, she was also a contradiction, a tough exterior with a heart of gold. I remember when I first met her, my husband insisted on taking me home to meet her but it was gone 10 at night, she had gone to bed and he made her get up, in her nightie, we did laugh about it after but she was not amused at the time. The next day he took me back and I have to say I was terrified, you see she hated Catholics (her father had been shot at in Ireland by Catholic women) She pointed it out to me and I was swift to say that I had never been to Ireland, she weighed me up and gave me a tight smile! From that day on I felt ever so slightly nervous in her company.
A few years later, after our daughter was born, I had to return to work, for my sanity and for money. That was when we became friends, deep friends. She told me about herself and I told her about me. She had had a hard time, a tough life, that was why she was so matter of fact, no frills and she never criticised me, she never gave an opinion and even when she was asked she was reluctant to say, for that I will always be grateful.
I remember the day she told me that she had "battered" my husbands dad, her ex, the look on my face was priceless but she soon had me laughing as she explained that he had pushed her too far and she had picked up the nearest thing, a motorbike helmet and threw it at him, it only caught him ever so slightly but he was running around the house shouting that she had tried to kill him. It was the least he deserved as she also told me of the time he threw you out on the street at Christmas. I am glad to say she did find happiness later and she laughed. She always laughed about things after they had happened, I suppose in those early days that was the only thing she could do. Like the time my husband and his best mate nearly shot the old lady next door.................................the little monkies had taken an air rifle and were messing about, the gun went off and shot through next doors window right passed her. How she chased my husband around and around the garden, his best mate took years to venture back!!!
It's nine years today since that fateful day that she left us, the last month of her life she showed such courage in the face of impossible odds and she tried to stay with as long as she could but it was not meant to be.
On that last day I swore to her that her son was safe with me and I would always look after him, she just looked at me with tear filled eyes and said "I know, I bless the day he met you" At that point, I finally felt I was part of her family
So where ever you are these roses are for you as I never did tell you that you were the best mum-in-law that a girl could wish for?


little scruffs said...

Ahh that is so nice Sue :0)

Doris Colanero & Alba Bears said...

I envy you for this experience, having such a wonderful mother-in-law. (Sad enough I have no similar experience...) But your words show once more how important it is to say your loved-ones what they mean to you - as long as they are still with us.