Black Thursday and Motherhood

Well today is the day I find out my results of my blood tests, I wasn't that worried as I have known this past year that the inevitable was acomin!!! I have done really well to have lasted so long but according to Hubby "I've just accepted it and given up" UH!!! I have been struggling/battling all my married life and am so fed up of the tight vice around my head, so roll on 5.50 when my appointment is. Believe me I could use all the help I can get.

My mum is off to the hospital on the same day, slightly more scary. She had routine tests that are a bit dodgy, so she has to go for a few more. She is quite calm about it all and although most of the time she twitters on about this and that ailment, when the chips are down she is a trooper. I do hope I inherit that stiff upper lip of hers, she did pass on her best qualities to me, so I am hopeful. So thinking of you mum and love you to bits xx

My third and final trauma of today is my daughter is meeting a lad after college (please don't tell her that I am telling you all, she would kill me) Really the trauma is how I feel, some of you will now from a previous post that she has a medical condition, its not an issue but due to how life has been, I don't mind telling you I am terrified. Our daughter is the most fantastic young lady who cares about how I feel and to be honest she deserves a nice time and a happy life. Over the years I have developed, what I will call a phobia.........................a terrifying fear that something will happen to her. Now I know all mothers have an inbuilt protective instinct but mine has gone beyond that. Ok lets rewind a bit, so you understand. A year after we were married we had a little baby boy, he would have been 20 in August this year, he was born 2 months premature and died at 9 days old, to be honest its not something that you accept, you just learn to live with it. 2 years later my joy came when we had our daughter, a full-term very healthy baby. At a week old I developed a bad cough, at 3 weeks old she started coughing, at 5 weeks she was in hospital for a month with whooping cough, seriously ill. She developed epilepsy at 4 years old and had several emergency trips in an ambulance, with fits lasting at worse 3 hours. So you can see were this phobia gathered pace. I am sure she will be fine, its me that is not. I worry all the time, silly I even worry that she will not watch what she is doing when she crosses the road..............................now how bad is that, she is nearly 18 for crying out loud. Well ta for listening to my mumblings this morning, I really appreciate it.....................oh and hubby is worse than me!!!! So he is not told anything until after the event, bless him.

PS She is a purple sash in Kung Fu (Thats 2 below a black belt-thumbs up here)